I have a confession. Although I am comfortable speaking in public, I am actually very shy. Cocktail parties make me break out in a cold sweat. Let’s face it, coffee hour is really like an alcohol-free cocktail party! Mingling and small talk are not in my wheelhouse. However, it’s an area where my husband, John, is gifted. It was with his encouragement and gentle prodding that when we first started coming to the church, we would go down to coffee hour. Fortunately for me, I had this cute baby, Jan, on my hip who made for an instant ice-breaker. Over the 15 years that I’ve been part of this church, I’ve heard of many, many others who share in my “coffee hour/cocktail party phobia”. Without a gregarious spouse dragging them down to socialize, it took many of these folks weeks and months, if even at all, to gain the courage to “break into the scene”.
It’s not that we are not a warm and welcoming church. In fact, most folks cite this as one of the many gifts of our congregation - warm and welcoming. It’s not that we don’t know how to put out a good spread. Our coffee hours are legendary with our young people. As overheard last Sunday, “cake with sprinkles and quiche”! What happens is that we naturally gravitate to the people that we know. We see someone and remember a little tidbit that we forgot to tell them or we never did ask them about their trip or we need to remind them about an upcoming meeting, etc. In all of this, sometimes we forget about the newcomers standing off to the side.
It’s not that we are not a warm and welcoming church. In fact, most folks cite this as one of the many gifts of our congregation - warm and welcoming. It’s not that we don’t know how to put out a good spread. Our coffee hours are legendary with our young people. As overheard last Sunday, “cake with sprinkles and quiche”! What happens is that we naturally gravitate to the people that we know. We see someone and remember a little tidbit that we forgot to tell them or we never did ask them about their trip or we need to remind them about an upcoming meeting, etc. In all of this, sometimes we forget about the newcomers standing off to the side.
As a child, who was many times over the new kid at school, recess was a primer for these adult social events. I distinctly recall awkwardly and fearfully walking around the school yard, praying that someone would come up to me and ask me to play. I certainly didn’t have the guts to approach one of the many masses of kids already engaged with one another. So, I was so interested when Trey, who is painfully shy, came home from school last month and told me about the “buddy bench”. Chatham Elementary School had recently unveiled the buddy bench at an assembley. Students watched an informative video on the purpose of the buddy bench, and the bench is now placed on the playground. The concept of the buddy bench is credited to Christian Bucks, a boy from York, Pennsylvania, “who didn’t like to see kids lonely at recess when everyone is just playing with their friends.” He told his principal of his idea and the buddy bench was born. He’s since done a TedTalk, been featured in the news and over 2,000 benches have now been installed in playgrounds around the US, and outside the country. The idea is that the bench gives a child a safe place to retreat . The other children are then encouraged to approach that child and ask him/her to play. They hope is that they’ll have the confidence to go play with their new friends the next day.
I’m not suggesting that we install a buddy bench at coffee hour, but I am suggesting that we take the time out to invite someone down to coffee hour Break away from our friends and meet someone new Include someone who looks like they could use the buddy bench!
Last spring, my mother and I visited a UCC church in Sarasota. Before we’d even left our pew, a lovely lady invited us to coffee hour. On the way there, she inquired about from where we were visiting. Once at coffee hour, she brought over two people who had connections to the Cape. My mother asked about an adult offering that they had announced in worship. One of those folks went and grabbed the facilitator of that study and introduced her to us. So by the time we left, my mother had met 5 members of the First Congregaional Church of Sarasota and had the courage to attend the adult study that Wednesday evening.
So to quote Hebrews 13:2, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without even knowing it.” And Peter, “Be hospitable to one another without complaint.” Let’s all encourage one another to offer extravagant hospitality to all who walk through our doors.
I’m not suggesting that we install a buddy bench at coffee hour, but I am suggesting that we take the time out to invite someone down to coffee hour Break away from our friends and meet someone new Include someone who looks like they could use the buddy bench!
Last spring, my mother and I visited a UCC church in Sarasota. Before we’d even left our pew, a lovely lady invited us to coffee hour. On the way there, she inquired about from where we were visiting. Once at coffee hour, she brought over two people who had connections to the Cape. My mother asked about an adult offering that they had announced in worship. One of those folks went and grabbed the facilitator of that study and introduced her to us. So by the time we left, my mother had met 5 members of the First Congregaional Church of Sarasota and had the courage to attend the adult study that Wednesday evening.
So to quote Hebrews 13:2, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without even knowing it.” And Peter, “Be hospitable to one another without complaint.” Let’s all encourage one another to offer extravagant hospitality to all who walk through our doors.
