On Monday, October 19th, I was given the gift of a parenting life-line in the name of Cindy Horgan! I find myself now in the trenches of a new chapter- parenting a teenager! It is both an exciting and challenging time and I was overjoyed to have Cindy offer herself through this series, “Navigating the Teen Years”. This session focused a lot on the development stages leading up and including the teen years as well as communicating with your teenager. Following, are my notes that I thought would be of value to those who were not able to attend.
Our next session is Monday, November 2nd, 6:30-8:00 p.m. First Congregational Church, fellowship hall. Childcare available with advance notice – contact the church 508-945-0800 or email.
Our next session is Monday, November 2nd, 6:30-8:00 p.m. First Congregational Church, fellowship hall. Childcare available with advance notice – contact the church 508-945-0800 or email.
- Go with your gut.
- We have to build resiliency in the relationship.
- We need a lot of Mulligans (do-overs).
- When they are touchy and grumpy, they are often scared inside.
- Remember they are under construction.
- They need to be surrounded by good people.
- Positive experiences help build adaptive brains.
- They need good sleep and family meals.
- Teens need time to process.
- They are abstract thinkers
- They need privacy but need you to be available and there for them.
- As parents, value decency over academic performance.
- Know their world – what they are reading, watching, listening to, friends.
- When things get heated, step out of it until things calm down.
- Listen with full attention. (model good behavior with electronics)
- Make all emotions safe – all of their emotions look like verbal vomit.
- Expose them to adult views, discuss current events.
- Encourage deductive reasoning, which helps them access the front part of the brain.
- Good questions often more effective than advice.
- Expect criticism of teachers – don’t get on the bandwagon with them, just listen.
- If there has been a fight, the last knock of the night is important – ie “things got intense with us tonight. We’ll continue to talk through this but I wanted to tell you good night and that I love you.”
- Love notes to your teen are great.
- Be patient.
- Their push for independence, makes you feel you need to give them more space when really it’s about staying as connected as when they were little.
