First Congregational Church of Chatham United Church of Christ
508-945-0800
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Chatham,MA 02633
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Navigating the Teen Years      by Amy Middleton

10/27/2015

2 Comments

 
On Monday, October 19th, I was given the gift of a parenting life-line in the name of Cindy Horgan!  I find myself now in the trenches of a new chapter- parenting a teenager!  It is both an exciting and challenging time and I was overjoyed to have Cindy offer herself through this series, “Navigating the Teen Years”.  This session focused a lot on the development stages leading up and including the teen years as well as communicating with your teenager.  Following, are my notes that I thought would be of value to those who were not able to attend. 
Our next session is Monday, November 2nd, 6:30-8:00 p.m.  First Congregational Church, fellowship hall.  Childcare available with advance notice – contact the church 508-945-0800 or email.
  • Go with your gut.
  • We have to build resiliency in the relationship.
  • We need a lot of Mulligans (do-overs).
  • When they are touchy and grumpy, they are often scared inside.
  • Remember they are under construction.
  • They need to be surrounded by good people.
  • Positive experiences help build adaptive brains.
  • They need good sleep and family meals.
  • Teens need time to process.
  • They are abstract thinkers
  • They need privacy but need you to be available and there for them.
  • As parents, value decency over academic performance.
  • Know their world – what they are reading, watching, listening to, friends.
  • When things get heated, step out of it until things calm down.
  • Listen with full attention. (model good behavior with electronics)
  • Make all emotions safe – all of their emotions look like verbal vomit.
  • Expose them to adult views, discuss current events.
  • Encourage deductive reasoning, which helps them access the front part of the brain.
  • Good questions often more effective than advice.
  • Expect criticism of teachers – don’t get on the bandwagon with them, just listen.
  • If there has been a fight, the last knock of the night is important – ie “things got intense with us tonight.  We’ll continue to talk through this but I wanted to tell you good night and that I love you.”
  • Love notes to your teen are great.
  • Be patient.
  • Their push for independence, makes you feel you need to give them more space when really it’s about staying as connected as when they were little.
2 Comments
Michelle
10/27/2015 02:51:43 pm

Thank you, thank you!! So important to remember and practice all of this!

Reply
Erin T.
10/28/2015 08:51:54 pm

Thank you so much - i plan to reveiw this over and over again

Reply



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